


Heavy In Your Arms

by muertxdeamor



Series: How to hang a witch [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Credence Barebone Deserves Better, F/F, F/M, Old Magic, Original Percival Graves Needs a Hug, Reincarnation, The obscurus likes Mercy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muertxdeamor/pseuds/muertxdeamor
Summary: In 1693, Mercy Lewis is hanged.In 1926, Mercy Barebone burns the church down.





	1. 1900-1925

_Mercy Lewis (1668 – 1693) was an American woman accused of witchcraft during the Salem Witch Trials of 1692 and 1693._

 

-x-

 

She has no memory of her parents. Of anything, honestly. The first thing she remembers is feeling cold. People looking at them in the streets as they hand out leaflets, Ma taking lots, lots of kids into their little church. How they would push each other, not looking at her as they fought for cups of watered down soup. Mercy tries to get one of those cups and calls for her Ma, but she's too busy handing out those little papers so she doesn't see her falling down after an older kid pushes her.

Later, Ma scolds her for her gluttony, for getting dirty and sends her to bed without having dinner after making her pray on her knees for almost an hour.

 

-x-

 

Mercy is six (seven? Nobody really knows when was she born) when Ma comes home with another kid. She tells Mercy that Credence is now her brother, that she's in charge of him, and Mercy hates that scrawny little thing with all her heart. Ma's punishments are hard enough without all the shenanigans a boy could come up with. However, as the kid starts getting punished as well, after Ma starts slapping him too, Mercy also starts wiping his tears away and tending to the little wounds on his frail cheeks after Ma slaps him.

"Ma loves us," Mercy says, hugging and rocking the little boy to get him to stop crying. There's a storm outside and the whole church seems to shake under the wind, although it's slowly stopping. "She just wants to... You know you shouldn't have taken that bread. Stealing is a sin. Don't you know that sinners burn in Hell?"

Credence mumbles something akin to "I was hungry" and from then onwards Mercy tries to sneak him bits of her own food, and Credence sleeps in her bed for a couple of hours every night before going back to his own before Ma could find them.

 

-x-

 

(Small birds follow Credence when he steps on the street and Mercy tries to scare them away as fast as she can because she has grown up hearing about the evil in magic. And it isn't magic, because magic doesn't exist even if Ma thinks otherwise. But Ma hates magic, and Ma will kill Credence if weird things start happening. Thankfully, soon after the birds come the cats, and the birds disappear. The cats stay.

They are witches' companions, but they aren't black, so Mercy feels weirdly safe from Ma's wrath while the furry little things rub themselves against her legs.)

 

-x-

 

A couple of years later they get another sister (Chastity) and then yet another one (Modesty) and as the years pass, as the slaps get harder and the house chores more tiring, Mercy realizes that Ma doesn't really like Credence. He's the one that goes without eating for longer, the one who gets slapped the most, the only one Ma will use a belt on.

Mercy is fourteen when Credence first comes stumbling into the room she shares with her sisters, and wants to cry when she sees the blood on his hands. They clean the wounds as best as they can and both try to come up with reasons why the whole situation is right, why the Lord wants them to live like this. They spend hours reading the Bible together until their eyes nearly go bling under the candle, until their throats are sore and unable to produce any sounds. After so many years they know the Holy Texts by heart, but can't find a reason why He makes the world this way. Doesn't mean they will stop trying.

(If the table shakes as they cry, none of them acknowledge it and instead they start to pray to make the evil go away. When they get up to help Ma with the dinner, their knees are bleeding.)

 

-x-

 

Mercy starts to bleed the same day a man she doesn't know says some nasty things about her in the streets. Her blush gets deeper as she gives Credence her stack of leaflets and hurries to get back inside the church. She doesn't know why but the feeling of having done something wrong is there, deep in her guts. That feeling doesn't go away when she sees Ma standing on the stairs, looking at her as if Mercy had just started to pull frogs out of her pockets.

Ma shows her how to take care of the blood and then prays with her and scolds her for hours, as if Mercy's blood was somehow proof of her sins, of the sins of the women before her, of Eve's original sin. She warns Mercy against men, against her own brother, against herself.

"Don't you dare come back if you disgrace yourself," Ma tells her, before patting her on the back a bit harder than necessary (Mercy winces because Oh Lord her whole belly hurts, her whole body hurts) and then leaves the church for two hours. She comes back with a huger, dark woolen jacket that she wraps around Mercy's shoulders.

"Cover yourself," Ma says. "You are fifteen, you should know better than this. Today wouldn't have happened if you had covered yourself from men. Now, get back to work."

 

-x-

 

There are no mirrors in the church but that same night Mercy, in the tub, stares at her reflection on the water. Is she pretty? She can't ask Ma, or Chastity, for the same matter. Both would accuse her of vain and Ma would probably slap the mere idea out of her so Mercy just sits there on the water. Although she tries to, she isn't able to see what that man in the streets had seen. She only sees Credence.

They aren't blood siblings, that's true, and Mercy has grey eyes and freckles where Credence only has dark eyes. But both are tall and skinny, both have dark hair, pale skin, sharp cheekbones, a certain air of helplessness, and most days people mistake them for actual siblings. It helps that they look nothing like their sisters, with their blonde hair and blue eyes.

Her stomach turns when she sees herself on the water, naked, her long hair dripping over her back, totally helpless against the world, and realizes that probably that same helplessness is what that man in the street had liked.

Mercy sleeps with the jacket on that night.

 

-x-

 

She is sixteen when she sees her, on the streets, further away from the church than Mercy usually goes. Her short blonde curls bounce with every step and she is covered in pink from head to toe and her smile seems brighter than the sun itself and every single man on the street turns around to stare at her. The woman just smiles and keeps going, and for some reason Mercy drops her leaflets the second their eyes meet. She hurries to pick them up, blushing furiously when she looks up again and sees the blonde woman smiling and staring at her as if she was inside Mercy's mind and was able to see its current state of chaos.

Mercy can't walk away faster. Neither can stop herself from asking her brother as soon as they are alone for some minutes in the kitchen.

"Credence, have you ever...?"

"What?"

"... Nothing. Forget about it."

"Sister..."

"Have you ever kissed somebody?"

Credence looks at her as if Mercy had grown a horn on her forehead and then looks away.

"We aren't supposed to do those things," he says, quietly, before looking away to take one of the pots out of the kitchen. Mercy leans on the table and absently touches her lips.

She has never wanted to kiss anybody, not really. But after seeing the blonde woman, Mercy can't help but wonder how... Ma and the Bible and the Lord always preach about man and woman, woman and man. As far as Mercy knows, the Bible does say something about two men, but never about two women, and she can't help but wonder.

 

-x-

 

(Mercy is nineteen when the priest's niece hides with her in the confessional after the service in the nearby Catholic church. Carmen holds her close and kisses her, soft and slow at first then rough and fast as her mouth wanders over Mercy's neck, as her hands get inside her woolen jacket, under her skirt, and Mercy can't do anything but open her legs and bite her lower lip to muffle the moans.

She stops wondering after that.)

 

-x-

 

Against all odds, against Ma's desire, years after Carmen there is a man. His name is William, he sells newspapers in the streets and for some obscure reason he doesn't treat Mercy and Credence like freaks. He's quick to go near them when he sees them on the streets with Ma's leaflets, sometimes he gives them the sweets this old lady gives him with the money for her newspaper, he talks to Credence and makes him smile, he takes Mercy back to the church when the sky is already dark.

They are careful, and as William kisses her against the corner of the street near the church (he knows Ma can't see him with her older daughter) Mercy dares to dream. William on his knee, a ring. A place of their own, small but warm and cozy. Two rooms would be enough; one for them and another one for Credence and Modesty. Mercy dares to dream. She deserves that, at least.

They are always careful but it isn't that long before Ma sees marks of kisses on Mercy's neck during one meeting, even when she tries to wear her hair down to hide them. Before she knows what's happening, Ma has grabbed a handful of her hair and pulls, hard, holding her down. She doesn't seem to mind the twenty-something people in the church.

"Chastity, take your sister to your room," Ma says before lowering her voice, and it is different from other times. It's so cold and absent of any feelings that it scares Mercy. "You little SLUT!"

Somebody laughs. Ma yanks Mercy's hair so hard that it sends her to the floor, but not even a second passes before Ma grabs her hair again and starts pulling Mercy up the stairs. In between gritted teeth and all her hair, the young woman sees Credence standing there, paralyzed.

"Credence, give me your belt," Ma says, and is the look on Credence's face what makes Mercy start crying.

"Ma... She didn't..."

"Come on, boy, listen to your mother." somebody says, downstairs. "She knows what's best for you."

"Besides, the girl had it coming." a woman adds. Mercy shakes when the whole church seems to agree. "Such behavior... The girl's actions aren't His design!"

"Ma, please, she didn't mean to...!"

"Oh, she sure did when she allowed some bastard into her bed. I taught you better than this, Mercy. Don't look me like that." Ma says, stripping Credence from his belt before he can stop her. "You know you have to pay for it. Unless you want to end like your mother..."

The door interrupts Ma. Mercy quickly puts herself in front of Credence, just in case one of Ma's crazy followers has come upstairs to help, but it's... Mercy blinks when she realizes it's only a woman.

She has short brown hair and wears trousers, and stands in front of Ma with something in her hand. Mercy's heart seemingly skips a beat when she sees what looks like a wand. Ma won't like this.

The woman's eyes are set on Mercy and Credence and her lips tremble, and Ma barely has time to open her mouth when the woman shakes her wand and the belt flies out of Ma's hand. Mercy covers her mouth with her hand, trying to muffle any sounds because it can't be happening. Magic doesn't exist. Magic doesn't exist, right?

"Witch," Ma says. She looks as surprised as Mercy. "WI...!"

"Desmaius!"

  

-x-

 

It all goes downhill from there. Suddenly Ma is on the floor and Credence is shaking so hard that Mercy fears he'll break. The woman, the witch, her name is Tina and she hugs them both with tears on her eyes, and then Chastity and Modesty come out of the room and see Ma and start screaming and Ma's followers start to come upstairs and suddenly there's a lot of loud CRACKS and the church is full of men that weren't there a second ago.

"It's the Devil! Witches!" somebody shouts before the entire church seems to go up in flames. Mercy expects her to burn but instead, the light soon goes away and the church is as cold as it's ever been.

"Secure the perimeter!" one of the men shouts. His voice is barely audible over Chastity's screams. "And somebody take care of the girl. Abernathy."

"Yes, sir."

A wave of another wand and Chastity is falling to the floor next to Ma, although much softer than Ma did. Modesty, who had been standing behind her sister, suddenly kicks the man -Abernathy- in the shin and runs straight to Mercy, jumping into her arms.

Mercy turns around and suddenly understands why her sister is so scared. All of Ma's followers are on the floor, completely still.

"Are they... Are they dead?" she asks to nobody.

"What? No!" Abernathy exclaims, still on the floor himself and grabbing his shin. "Are you crazy?"

"Abernathy, go downstairs to help the others. This will take hours to fix."

Mercy looks at him and the first thing she thinks is that she's never seen such elegant clothes. They are... Perfect. Not a wrinkle or an unpolished button, the shirt underneath white as the snow.

The second thing she thinks is that the man wearing those clothes is looking at Tina as if he wanted her to catch fire on the spot. He still holds a wand, so Mercy isn't sure that Tina will get out of the church alive.

"Sir." Tina grimaces, standing up to face him. "Sir, I can explain.."

"We'll talk about this whole mess later, Goldstein. How many people are here?"

"Twenty-five. Thirty, with the Barebone," she says, looking at the floor.

"Go help the others, we'll talk later."

"Yes, sir."

Tina looks at them one last time before clenching her fists and heading downstairs. The stranger has his hands behind his back as he looks at them for some seconds before speaking.

"My name is Percival Graves." he says "Not that you need to know it. Or that you will remember it, really."


	2. 1925

They do remember him.

(Abernathy goes back to the church a week after the whole fiasco, and Mercy isn't sure of who's more scared of seeing the other again.)

(On the other side of the city, in his office, Percival Graves sighs because, _Deliverance fucking Dane_ , he doesn't deserve this.)

 

-x-

 

To Percival's credit, he does try to obliviate them, multiple times, but the Barebone sibling's minds are strong where their bodies aren't and honestly, what the fuck is he supposed to do while thinking of possible solutions but to take them to eat something. They might be tall and their clothes do a damn good job at hiding their bodies, but Percival has seen the war, has seen those hungry eyes. Watching them devour a steak, he understands why Goldstein did what she did. Even if it was against the law, even if he has to demote the young Auror to take a stand.

There's not a lot he can do on his own and he doesn't want to tell Seraphina, not yet. Percival can't feel their magic but there has to be some, because otherwise they would have forgotten the whole fiasco at the church. But they haven't and they are eating lunch in front of him, so there has to be something more. Or maybe there isn't. Percival probably is just paranoic with the whole Grindelwald situation in Europe and the Barebone siblings are probably just Squibs.

"Is it a bad thing?" asks Mercy. "Being a Squib?"

Percival has never been the one to tell white lies.

"It isn't a bad thing  _per se_ , but they are looked down in the Magical world. Would be an advantage in the No-Maj one, though, to know about the existence of magic."

He doesn't tell them about their ancestors. About the Scourers, about Bartholomew Barebone and how he almost exposed the wizarding world. It isn't worthy. The siblings probably won't ever step into that world, and they already have one too many worries. They don't need more weight on their shoulders.

 

-x-

 

Percival knows he should step aside. He should tell Seraphina about the siblings, he should send them to the Squib Office and make them learn whatever they can to improve their lives and then release them again in New York, free to live their lives.

But they have a sister. A No-Maj sister, one who forgot about the whole church accident, one they won't leave behind.

They also have a so-called 'mother' who hits them with a belt. When Credence, painfully shy Credence, still not fully able to look him in the eye, comes to him with blood on his flayed hands, Percival could set that bitch on fire. The day he goes into the dark alley only to find Mercy with a long, dark bruise on her neck, Percival isn't sure how he stops himself.

How the fuck did Goldstein manage not to kill Mary Lou Barebone?

"She didn't do it," Mercy insists. Her voice is hoarse, but it isn't caused by November's cold weather. "I... I had a nightmare, and I woke up like this."

Percival's only possible answer (because his Mama raised a gentleman, and gentlemen don't threaten to kill other people's mothers in front of them) is to put both hands around Mercy's neck, careful not to hurt her, and heal the bruises. 

He shouldn't have brushed it away, but at the Ministry they are trying to shut down Fleury's Fancy Fauna pet shop, and he hasn't slept in three days, so he takes Mercy with him to pick up some lunch for her, Credence and Modesty, and in a few days he forgets about it. Sad and horrible as it is, the bruises and cuts on the Barebone siblings aren't a novelty anymore. Percival heals them anyway.

 

-x-

 

They shut the damn illegal pet shop down and Percival manages to take a nap in his office (" _No, Queenie, I don't need to go home, thank you very much._ ") before he has to take the monthly report to Seraphina. He prefers to do it himself, as Abernathy is snoring on his desk, García is on her sixth cup of coffee so far, and Oleksi, Larsen and Redbird have collapsed on a pile on the nearest couch. Percival grimaces, unused to not seeing Goldstein in said pile.

His Aurors and Goldstein disappear from his mind, however, when on his way to Seraphina's office he walks next to some paintings of the Salem Trials. He has never noticed it before but now, the familiar long, black hair catches his attention, and suddenly Percival finds himself watching Mercy Lewis hang from a rope.

 

 -x-

 

Mercy Barebone is crying in the alley when Percival goes back to the church.

"What...?" 

He sees the dead cats on the floor behind Mercy before he can complete his question. 

"She poisoned them. She poisoned my cats."

And that's how Percival finds himself on a foggy Tuesday evening helping a young woman who may or may not be (it can't be, _it can't be_ ) Mercy Lewis reincarnated bury her cats. What has his life become? He discreetly looks at Mercy but under the tears, her face is as hard and as unreadable as stone.

(If the wind howls in a totally unnatural way around them, Percival doesn't say anything.)

 

-x-

 

Mercy is twenty-five when she realizes she needs a job. A real one. They can't stay at Ma's much longer, and so her search begins. However, there are very few people who will hire a young unwed woman without credentials to her name. There are even fewer people that will hire Mary Lou Barebone's daughter. 

The second thing she asked after "Is it a bad thing? Being a Squib?" was " _Is there any way we can learn magic?_ ". Mr. Graves' answer still haunts her. What's the point of having some magic flowing through her veins if she can't use it to help her siblings, to help herself? What's the point of having birds and cats being drawn to them if Ma's going to poison them?

She hates it. Mercy would have preferred to just forget about it. About the wizarding world, about wands and spells she has no right to, about Mr. Graves. But apparently, whatever little magic is in her is enough to allow Mercy just a glimpse into the life she could have, into the _what if_. Only to be pulled from it and sent back to her own world. It was just cruel.

"Hey! Mercy!"

Mercy almost trips when William shouts her name from the other side of the street. He gives his newspapers to a little boy and before Mercy can do anything to avoid him, William stands in front of her.

"Hey, how are you? You've been avoiding me for weeks."

How is Mercy supposed to answer that? ' _I'm fine, I just discovered that magic exists and there's some in me, but not enough, and I have been freaking out for the last three weeks?_ ' ' _I was avoiding you because if Ma catches ~~us~~ me again, she will kill me?_'

"I'm fine," she tries to smile. "I... I have been looking for a job, got distracted and... I'm sorry I haven't been around."

"Well, don't worry about it. Listen..." William blushes a bit. "There's going to be a dance, next month, at the Woolworth Building. A masquerade. And I was wondering if..."

William suddenly stops talking. It takes Mercy a few seconds to understand why, until she follows his gaze and the reason why becomes obvious.

What is even Mr. Graves doing there, in that part of the city? People are staring at him and honestly, who wouldn't? He looks completely out of place from his haircut to his shoes. At least he isn't wearing the scarf he had with him last time Mercy saw him. She's still pretty sure that the design could move.

She looks back at William and frowns when she sees the young man staring at nothing, apparently confused. A wave of dizziness hits her from nowhere and Mercy stumbles until somebody grabs her arm.

"Sorry about that, Miss Barebone," Mr. Graves says. Mercy notes that he doesn't look that sorry. "I had to confuse the No-Majs. We don't want word of you with some unknown man spreading around and reaching your mother, now, do we?"

"No, I guess we don't," Mercy sighs, looking at William. His confusion seems to be over and the young man goes back to selling newspapers. Nobody is even looking at Mr. Graves anymore, or at Mercy, and she guesses that they can't see them.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"Well... No. No, you didn't," Mercy mumbles. Her little thing with William has next to no future. Ma is bound to find about it again, sooner or later, even if she forgot the whole thing when Mr. Graves and the other Aurors obliviated them. And she will kill Mercy. Of that, she is sure. And she won't put some man she doesn't even truly love over her own life, thank you very much. "What are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet next week. Credence is working... What's that?"

There's something moving under Mr. Graves' cat. The wizard has a weird look on his face, but Mercy forgets about it when he  _pulls a kitten out of his coat_ and gently lowers it into her arms.

"What...?"

The kitten, a small gray tabby cat, looks pretty happy, free from Mr. Graves' hands and curled against Mercy's chest. It meows and licks her hand and Mercy barely stops herself from crying. She looks upwards to face Mr. Graves and tries to say something, anything, but she's out of words. He just shrugs.

"I found her on the streets and I thought... Well, after you lost your cats..."

"Oh my God. Thank you, Mr. Graves. Seriously..."

The wizard shrugs.

"Don't even mention it. Come on, let's get your brother."

 

-x-

 

"Teenie, did you see...?"

"Mr. Graves with a cat?"

"Oh, thanks Deliverance Dane. I thought I was seeing things on top of hearing thoughts."

 

-x-

 

Mercy isn't sure of what Credence is supposed to have done this time, but there's blood. A lot of blood, more than usual. She wraps his hands in old towels and hurries him outside before Ma decides to punish his back as well. He wouldn't be able to take it, not this time. Credence is shaking so hard that his whole body seems to blur around the edges, and it doesn't help that Mercy herself is shaking. 

Her eyes sting from the tears she's holding back. It has been close. Too close, they can't continue to live like this, for God's sake... Mercy hugs her brother and gasps, struggling to breathe as pure and unadulterated fear nearly paralyzes her. 

A sudden _CRACK_ makes Mercy scream and move in front of her brother, afraid that Ma has followed them to the alley. The relief almost knocks her over when she sees Mr. Graves instead of their mother.

The wizard doesn't say a word, barely waving a hand in her general direction before focusing on Credence. Mercy is sure he has done some kind of magic, though, as she is able to finally breathe again. She doesn't say a word and Credence stays quiet as well while Mr. Graves heals his hands and then hugs him. Credence closes his eyes with a whimper, breaking Mercy's heart as he leans into the hug like the touch-starved man he truly is. 

Ma used to beat him about it. Men don't hug others. Men don't cry, men aren't emotional. _Man up_. Maybe if Mercy had had the guts to do the right thing back then, this wouldn't be happening.

A while later, after Mr. Graves has taken them to Credence's favorite diner and then back to the church, Mercy stays behind after Credence thanks Mr. Graves yet once again and goes to his room. Ma is out, handing leaflets, so Mercy isn't that afraid of having a wizard on her kitchen. That doesn't mean that she'll open the window either (anyone can see them from the street) so they stand in quite a shadowy kitchen.

"How did you know that we needed you?"

After all those months, Mercy knows that Mr. Graves appreciates going straight to the point. This doesn't seem to be the case this time, however.

"I... I don't know. I just had the feeling," he says, slowly. When he looks her in the eye, Mercy is surprised to see the puzzled expression on his face. "Forgive me if it turns out I'm wrong, but I think I might know something about what's going on here."

"Here?"

"You. And magic."

Oh. Mercy kneels for a second to pick up her cat. After asking Mr. Graves about famous witches and wizards, Mercy had named her Circe. And little Circe very much likes to be held, so Mercy has to be careful or otherwise the cat will sneak into the church and Ma will see her. There's no danger now, so that's why she picks Circe up and scratches her between the ears. The purr that comes afterwards soothes Mercy enough for her next question.

"Do you... Did you find something about our parents?"

"What? No. But there might be something else, it's only that... It doesn't matter," Mr. Graves says, shaking his head. That simple gesture tells Mercy that the conversation has already ended, so that's why she is surprised when the wizard puts a hand around her neck just for a second. She feels a foreign weight on her skin and after balancing Circe in one arm and touching her neck, Mercy raises an eyebrow when she finds a necklace.

"Why?"

"I can't rely on some weird feeling I might have next time your mother beats you up," the wizard says, and if the expression on his face means anything then every single word burns his tongue. Mr. Graves is very vocal about Mercy and Credence getting out of the church, but they... They can't just  _leave_. Nowhere to go, no money, _no magic_ , a little sister that probably wouldn't come with them. Mercy had never been able to protect Credence, but maybe the two of them would be able to protect Modesty. Just maybe. They have come this far, they can endure it a bit more. 

Struggling with Circe on her arms, Mercy feels the necklace with her fingers. It's long and loose enough that she will be able to hide it under her clothes, in the shape of a... She frowns. Is that a snake with horns?

"What's this?"

"Some merch I had. From my years back at school."

"Wait, there's a school? To learn magic?" Mercy asks, excited, before Mr. Graves handsome but stern face reminds her of her lack of said magic. "Oh. Right."

"You would have loved it," he says after a few seconds of silence. Mercy can't help but smile a bit. "You are a Pukwudgie if I ever saw one."

Before Mercy can ask what in the Lord's green Earth is a pukwudgie, Mr. Graves awkwardly pats her shoulder and disappears with a loud  _CRACK_ that makes Circe meow in surprise.

 

-x-

  

The floor is cold. Is muddy and cold beneath her feet, but before she has time to feel the discomfort, the ground slips under her feet. Something suddenly wraps around her neck and she fights against it, trying to get it off as she desperately opens her mouth searching for air. It hurts. It hurts so much and her lungs feel about to burst and there's blood in her mouth and her vision goes black and yet once again  _she can't breathe._

Mercy jolts awake panting and struggling to breathe, and her hand instinctively goes to her necklace. The small horned snake unwraps itself from her neck and loops around her fingers as Mercy tries to steady her breathing. It takes some minutes before her legs stop shaking and allow her to get up. Her mouth feels horribly dry, so Mercy goes to the bathroom to drink some water.

She isn't sure of what her dream has been about, although Mercy is sure as hell that she doesn't want to remember it. She still has goosebumps while she drinks straight from the sink's tap. She then splashes some water on her face and neck, wincing at the sudden pain she feels after touching her skin. The lights turn on by themselves but Mercy doesn't even notice. She has to put both hands over her mouth to muffle any sound she might make when she sees the long, blue and purple bruises that go around her neck.

 

-x-

 

The boss just. Doesn't do social events. That's law at the MACUSA, and Ingrid has never seen it broken until the masquerade. She had been talking to her wife when she sees it and, stunned, elbows Jimmy until he notices as well. His mouth falls open. 

It's subtle, but not enough that the aurors won't see it. Hell, even Mary Ann sees it.

"Is that Mr. Graves...?"

"With a woman? Yes," Ingrid says. Her wife hums in silence.

"Well, I can't really see her face, but she seems pretty."

"Of course the boss would get himself some pretty girl."

Ingrid can't help but chuckle at Jimmy's pout. Poor thing, at this rate he would never get over his crush on the boss. But Mary Ann is right, the woman seems pretty even with her face hidden under a glittery mask with a starry pattern. Her long, black hair is up in an elegant, if somewhat outdated hairstyle (Ingrid hasn't seen any woman with such long hair since the end of the Great War) and the [blue dress with silver stars](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f7/e6/de/f7e6ded63f32d785f1a329e4215dc4f0.jpg) really compliments her looks. It sparkles as the woman grabs Mr. Grave's hand and lets him take her upstairs, to the upper floors of the MACUSA. Poor Mr. Graves. The gossip will eat him alive the following day.

"Where are they even going?" Jimmy protests, making Mary Ann laugh at his offended tone of voice. "I mean, there's nothing interesting on the East Wing, only some old paintings of the Salem Trials."

 

-x-

 

It has been weeks since Mr. Graves showed up at the church with a dress and a proposal. Weeks since Mercy found herself surrounded by magic, since she saw herself hanging from a rope on a painting from the 17th century. Both the dress and the memory of the painting have been carefully hidden since; one under her mattress, the other one in the nightmares she still has. Mr. Graves doesn't know about them, and now he is off to Europe and Mercy wouldn't dream of disturbing him when he is so busy. But the nightmares are becoming more and more frequent, and she tries not to shudder at the perspective of going to bed.

Mercy hasn't even taken off all her clothes when she hears the belt, the muffled screams, and suddenly she's running downstairs and pushing Ma off Credence so hard that the other woman falls to the floor. Mercy barely has time to stand in front of Crendece when a sharp pain in her cheek trips her off. The pain doesn't appear for a few seconds and Mercy looks at her Ma, stunned. She had never used the belt on her before.

"Cover yourself, you look like a whore," Ma hisses. "And you, boy, clean that up!"

Mercy understands the situation when she sees the small puddle of vomit on the floor, and Chastity and Modesty behind Ma. Modesty had been sick earlier that day, but Mercy hadn't thought it was serious. It has to be, though, because her sister is really pale and leaning onto Chastity, and Ma is taking her straight to a doctor instead of praying the illness away.

Ma grabs the two girls and basically push them out the church before slamming the door and then -silence. Somehow, Mercy doesn't even have to hold back the tears because she feels  _so_ numb that the only thing she is able to do is to help Credence back on his feet. To her surprise, he doesn't look pained. He has a weird expression on his face though, and while at first Mercy thinks it's because she has no shirt on, soon it becomes obvious that it's something else.

"Credence..."

"She made you bleed."

"What?"

Credence cradles her face in his hands and Mercy suddenly feels it, sticky blood on her lips and cheek. She tries to shrug it off.

"Don't worry about me. Let's get you cleaned up..."

"No, you don't understand it, she made  _you_ bleed," Credence repeats, a slightly manic look on his dark eyes. "She shouldn't... No, she can't..."

"Credence?"

Her brother doesn't answer. He starts muttering to himself, which isn't strange in itself and usually wouldn't worry Mercy, but now his gaze is erratic and his hands start shaking -his whole body is shaking so hard that the edges seem... No, the edges are blurring and turning into something dark and smoke-like and Mercy calls his name over and over again but he doesn't hear her, and his mouth distorts in an ugly shape as he screams and...

It's sudden. At first there's half a second of pure silence, but then the explosion surrounds Mercy and her screams are silenced by the unnatural howl that resonates inside the church. It's wild and brutal and full of a fear and anger almost as black as the smoke that engulfs Mercy. She feels it pulling at her hair and her skin and it knocks her over when it goes straight through her chest and _stays there_. It's so cold. She had never realized how truly cold and lost and unwanted and alone Credence felt until it nearly made her burst from the inside out. But at the same time, it burns so much,  _his rage_ , that Mercy feels like both of them together could ignite another war.

In the end, Mercy would scream. Of fear, of pain, but she can't, because she's choking on the black smoke as she forces it out of her chest. Her watery eyes stop her from watching anything but slowly, the howl disappears and the floor stops shaking beneath her back (dear God,  _it had been shaking_ ) and when Mercy manages to sit on the floor she sees Credence, normal again, sitting on the floor as well and hugging his legs. He's shaking, but he doesn't turn to smoke when Mercy crawls up to him.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt, anywhere?" she asks, frenetically touching his face and his arms until she is sure that no, her brother is not missing any important part suddenly turned into smoke. "Credence?"

He doesn't answer. He hugs her instead, so hard that her ribs crack for a second. Mercy breaths in and out, slowly, petting his hair as she realizes the state of the church. There's no longer vomit to clean but... She prays that they will have time to tidy the mess.

"We need to talk to Mr. Graves when he comes back," she says when Credence finally pulls apart. He doesn't look very convinced.

"Mercy..."

"Credence, come on!" Mercy exclaims, unbelieving. "You are a wizard after all!"

"Do you think this was magic?"

"Of course it is. What else can it be?"

"Still. Please, don't tell him about it," Credence begs. "Not yet. I don't... I don't feel well. I'm dangerous."

"No, you aren't."

"I couldn't control it, I could have hurt you!"

"Credence!" Mercy grabs both of his hands, hard enough that he is forced to look at her. "Look at me. I'm alright, you didn't hurt me. You... You just need to learn to control it. Okay? Nobody is born knowing."

"We will be fine. Right?" her brother asks after a few seconds of silence, and it almost sounds like a plead. Mercy smiles.

"Of course we will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! Not for long, though. I just came by to post this chapter I've been working on in my free time -even if I'm not fully satisfied with the last scene, but whatever.
> 
> Next chapter will be set during the first movie (yay!) However, and sadly, next month I have to focus on college because I have a lot of exams so I won't be updating this fic until february :( I'll try to work a bit on it, though, so I can upload a new chapter as soon as possible. See yah!


	3. 1926 (i)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I should re-read all of this to look for any grammar mistakes but I've been writing this chapter for so long that for now, I just want to upload it. I'll review it later. Enjoy!

_A large, isolated building emerges from the darkness. In silence, Mercy watches the explosion of pure white magic that comes from it and sends five wizards flying backwards. She is only interested in one of them, though, and so she kneels next to Percival. His eyes are white and his face scarred beyond recognition and his neck broken. There's a new explosion of light in front of her_  

and Mercy jolts awake. She barely has time to bite the back of her hand before the scream can leave her throat. She feels it there, burning and stinging and her little horned serpent can't do much to calm her down. Mercy feels its metallic scales sliding around her neck for some minutes before the charmed necklace decides there's actually no danger and the serpent settles down on her skin.

Mercy forces herself to breathe evenly. Most nights she dreams about ropes tangled around her neck but there's also the odd nightmare about Mr. Graves, and there's no reason for it at all. He came back from Europe. He's very much alive and unharmed and still helping them, so Mercy really can't understand why she keeps seeing his death in her dreams.

She lets go of the sheets and looks around. It's early, far earlier than she usually wakes up. Modesty and Chastity are still sleeping in their beds. Mercy smiles a bit at her younger sister, completely wrapped in her sheets. She looks like a butterfly cocoon and the mere sight of her is almost enough to make Mercy forget her last nightmare.

The steps outside the door startle her. Mercy knows she isn't doing anything wrong (she has just woken up!) but a wave of fear hits her anyway when she thinks of Ma coming inside the bedroom. That fear goes away, however, as soon as she realizes that the steps are heavier than Ma's and that they go inside Credence's bedroom. Mercy hears the door closing really quietly and breathes again.

Credence has been going out in the middle of the night. Just a few times, not enough that Ma actually suspects anything. If those times coincide with strange accidents that have been taking place lately... Well, Mercy doesn't want to think about it. Nobody has actually died due to those accidents and besides, she is pretty sure that Credence is learning how to control _it_. Or at least trying to.

She has been trying as well, with no results so far if she doesn't take into account that  _more_ cats follow her around as soon as she steps on the streets. Her inability to do anything magic isn't a surprise after more than twenty years of anodyne life, it shouldn't sting that much. But it does.

 

-x-

 

Because she woke up so early and wasn't able to go back to sleep, Mercy is  _really_ tired when Ma makes them participate in her stupid rally to hand out leaflets. After all those years she is used to the not-so-small crowds that surround them, Ma's shouting, people's murmuring, but this time Mercy feels utterly  _sick_ of it. She looks at Credence and grimaces; he looks just as troubled as she probably does. Both exchange a silent look before going back to handing out those damn leaflets.

An old lady dodges Mercy and goes upstairs to the bank, muttering something about those  _freaks._ Once again, Mercy is used to it but lately is different. Freaks. That's what Ma and her nonsense about magic have turned them into. A bunch of freaks that nice and normal people have to dodge as they try to go on with their lives. When will they be allowed to go on with their own lives? Looking at her Ma and the banner with the broken wand and the flames that stands behind her, Mercy fears that unless they do something the answer will be  _never_.

"... But where there is light there is shadow, friend. Something is stalking our city, wreaking destruction and then disappearing without a trace." Ma goes on, apparently unaware that half of the crowd probably thinks them circle clowns. "We have to fight—join us, the Second Salemers, in our fight!"

Mercy looks away from her and thanks to that, she's pretty much the only witness of the small accident. A chubby man with a leather case and a tall man with a blue coat and _another_ leather case both almost trip over each other's cases and over some young woman. Mercy forgets about the two men as soon as she sees the woman's face. She hasn't forgotten it, even after all those months. Tina. What the hell is she doing in their rally?

"Excuse me!" the chubby man says, going around Ma without even looking at her. Ma looks offended for a second before something, or rather somebody else draws her attention.

"You, friend!" she tells the man with the blue coat. "What drew you to our meeting today?"

He is ridiculously pretty, Mercy offhandedly thinks for a moment before turning her gaze back to Tina. The witch sees her as well after some seconds and both exchange a long, awkward stare before Tina nods and leaves. Mercy would swear that she's trying to follow the man with the blue coat, who apart from pretty seems to be also British

"Excuse me," he says before jolting to the bank. Ma seems surprised at his lack of interest.

 "... and laugh if you dare: Witches live among us!"

 

-x-

 

While she takes care of the soup Mercy also keeps an eye on Modesty. Her little sister is busy playing a solitary variation of hopscotch, skipping in and out of a chalked grid on the floor to the tune of the same song Mercy grew up singing. One that now feels a little bit too close for comfort.

"My momma, your momma, gonna catch a witch." Modesty hums, carefully measuring her leaps. "My momma, your momma, flying on a switch." She stops then and stares at Mercy, with her little hands on her hips. Mercy mockingly ignores her for a few seconds before smiling.

"My momma, your momma, witches never cry. My momma, your momma, witches gonna die!" Watching her little sister smile and clap at witches dying, even if it's a song, should feel a lot creepier. Mercy decides she doesn't care one bit. "Witch number one, drown in a river," she continues. "Witch number two, gotta noose to give her!"

Modesty's smile widens, and Mercy's as well. She can almost see herself hanging from the rope in her dreams.

A pigeon coos from a high-up window and Credence stares up towards it before clapping his hands to make it fly away. Both Mercy and Modesty look at him until he sighs.

"Witch number three, gonna watch her burn.  Witch number four, flogging take a turn." 

His voice has none of the happiness of Modesty's and his words feel almost like a vow. Modesty forgets about the song as soon as Ma looks over Mercy's shoulder and exclaims that lunch is ready, but both Mercy and Credence stare at each other the way people who share a secret do. It only lasts a few seconds before both go to ladle out soup.

The children turn away from the boy with a birthmark on his face as soon as Ma points it out. Mercy gives him a bit more of soup in his bowl and Credence hides a piece of bread beneath it.

 

-x-

 

"... I still have nightmares," Mercy confesses while she allows her cat to lick her fingers. They must still taste of soup. "I'm walking barefoot on the grass, next thing I know I'm hanging from a rope." Circe must feel her distress, because she meows. Mercy softly taps her little head. "Hush..." she mumbles, and sighs. "It's no wonder I'm not a witch. If a simple painting leaves me like this, I'm not strong enough for magic."

She can still see it if she closes her eyes. The damn painting, the witch with long black hair that looks too much like her, the rope around her neck. To Mercy's surprise, Mr. Graves shakes his head.

"You aren't weak. Both you and your brother are living under... Under immense stress, enduring the abuse of that woman." Mercy hadn't thought that it was possible to almost touch people's hatred through their voice, but then she met Mr. Graves and now wonders how Ma is still alive. "You aren't weak," he insists. "Your mind just lashed out and grabbed onto the first unusual thing you saw. That it was a moving painting of the Salem Trials was just a coincidence. Had it been any other painting, you would be dreaming about the last Goblin Rebellion."

It feels too easy to believe him, hidden away from the world in the shadows of the alley near the church. Mercy is aware of what it might look like to an outsider and Ma would straight up kill her if she ever saw her like this, with an older man in a dark corner. Right now, with Circe in her arms and leaning against Mr. Graves' side, Mercy couldn't care less. 

"How is Credence?"

Right then? Probably flying around in his black, shapeless form, destroying something and hopefully nobody. Mercy would gladly answer that, but she has made a promise and she will keep it.

"He's better. I... I think we always sensed that something was off, but we didn't want to see it. It never bothered me that much anyway because I never believed in magic, but I think he feels better now that everything makes more sense.

Mr. Graves hums uncommittedly. "You must be careful," he says after a few seconds. His voice is almost a whisper and it gives Mercy the chills. It doesn't get any better when Mr. Graves puts a hand on her arm. "It won't be long before you leave that damn church, but until then you must take care of yourselves. You promise?"

His gaze is so strong that it seems to pierce straight through Mercy. Her mouth feels suddenly dry and her arm burns where he's touching her, and Mercy barely hears Circe's hiss when she nods.

 

-x- 

 

There's an unknown man with Ma when Mercy goes back to the church. Apparently, his name is Langdon Shaw (isn't that the surname of a senator?) and for some ununderstandable reason he seems to be interested in Ma's cause. And, if the direction of his eyes means anything, he is also interested in Mercy. But she has grown up since those days when she used to be intimidated by random men in the streets; she returns the glance until Langdon clears his throat and looks away. 

Surprisingly, it takes little to convince Ma. Not even half an hour later, the Barebones enter the pristine headquarters of the Shaw News empire. Mercy can't help but look out the windows. She looks at New York at their feet, all those beautiful Art Decò buildings drowning in the golden light of the evening and she feels a stranger in her own body, as if it could sense that those definitely  _aren't_ the surroundings she is used to.

However, what amazes her the most are the women. There aren't many, less than ten in a huge office that has almost fifty people working nonstop in that same moment, but it is enough that Mercy's mind has a hard time assimilating it. Most of them aren't doing anything but taking coffees to the desks, although two or three are thoroughly writing articles or their own. What they all have in common is how pretty and neat they look, how their colorful dresses twirl around them and above all, how they are around Mercy's age and working for themselves, earning their own damn money.

At the end of the day they may go home to husbands and children and responsibilities that no man would even think about taking care of, but before that, they are actually doing something with their lives. Unlike Mercy. 

They all have short hair as well. It's a stupid detail, but it almost stings. Mercy touches her long, braided hair (Ma would skin her alive if any of her daughters ever dared to cut it so short) and feels like a damn crow among doves.

Ma grabs her arm and basically drags her with them when she catches Mercy staring at a female journalist. Following Langdon, they dodge some kind of assistant who looks pretty anxious when he is forced to allow them to cross the double doors at the end of the office. Mercy tries really hard not to gasp at the spectacular views across the city they get through the windows. Somehow, the glimpse she caught just some minutes earlier pales in comparison to this one. 

There are two men inside the office. An older one that must be Mr. Shaw Sr and a younger one that looks too much like him to be anything else but his son, the senator. None of them looks impressed in the slightest by whatever Langdon and Ma have to offer and Mercy pretty much tunes out the whole conversation... At least until she hears that word. 

"... witchcraft, don’t you see?"

Her heart seems to skip a beat but thankfully, Shaw Sr and his son look dubious -at the very best. And Mercy will do anything to keep that doubt alive.

She knows very little about the wizarding world, but one thing she is sure of. The no-majs mustn't, under any circumstances, learn about its existence. Mr. Graves had been terribly strict about that when he first started telling Mercy and Credence about his world. Whatever they do they mustn't break the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. No matter what. With the current situation in Europe and a Dark wizard on the run, the penalty would be death. 

While Ma and Shaw Sr talk, or rather passive-aggressively argue, Mercy looks at the photographs Langdon has spread out on a desk. Streets and buildings reduced to rubble make her shudder. She doesn't need to turn her eyes back to Credence to know it has been his doing.

The argument behind her is rapidly escalating and Langdon seems to be ready to punch his brother when Ma intervenes again.

"We hope you’ll reconsider, Mr. Shaw. We’re not difficult to find." she seems calm and dignified, but Mercy knows better. Ma is enraged in the inside. "Until then, we thank you for your time."

She leads them out. Mercy walks fast, but not fast enough that she doesn't hear senator Shaw calling Credence  _freak_. She frowns, but focuses on taking her sister's hand and keeps walking.

Just after Credence walks out, the window of the office cracks.

 

-x-

 

They leave Ma downstairs and barely make it to the bedroom before Credence starts shaking and blurring. He seems to be trying to hold it back and it is hurting him; he groans before dropping to the ground on his knees. Mercy breathes in and out.

"Credence?" she asks. When he looks up, his eyes are completely white and glowing. Mercy feels something wild and broken inside her before she speaks. "Let it go."

"Mercy..."

" _Let it go._ "

They look at each other for a second. Credence closes his eyes and his face relaxes as it melts into a shapeless mass of black smoke. Mercy fears for a second that it will start roaring like that one time but either Credence has some kind of control over it, or  _it_ has some kind of conscience. The black mass seems to absorb all the sound as it suddenly expands over every single surface of the room, except for Mercy. She can't hold back her smile when slim tendrils of smoke twirl around her, a bit too tight and a bit too harsh, but it doesn't hurt.

There's a feeling behind it, an underlying threat of violence and fear and pain, the possibility of everything going wrong and those same tendrils of smoke wrapping themselves around Mercy's neck and killing her like the ropes in her dreams. But so far Credence is calm, Mercy is calm,  _it_ is calm and the three of them enjoy the peculiar company.

Whatever the black mass does, it isn't enough to isolate them from Ma's voice downstairs. Mercy can feel the second the tendrils of smoke turn thicker and harder, and they push her body against a wall. The black mass shrinks and floats between Mercy and the door and if she didn't know better, she would say it is trying to protect her from Ma. But clouds of black smoke don't protect anybody.

Or maybe they do, because that black smoke is also Credence and they always try to protect each other. No matter how little success they have. 

Mercy stops breathing the second she hears Ma's steps coming upstairs. She sees the black smoke twisting in the air and for a second it is almost funny, that a cloud can look anxious. But it also looks enraged and ready to burst through the door as soon as Ma comes near it. And Mercy knows deep in her gut that it will kill her.

"Credence. Credence!" she hisses when the black cloud shows no signs of calming down. Orange sparks fly from it and burn little holes on the floor. "Please!"

The black smoke seems to turn at her and Mercy almost sees her brother's eyes lost in that bottomless pool of dark. But it calms down. Mercy expects it to go up to the ceiling to hide from view or maybe even to come back to Credence's human form, so she isn't ready  _at all_ when the smoke goes through her chest. It doesn't come out from her back and as she struggles to breathe, Mercy can feel it shrinking and twisting until it finds a spot it likes in her ribs. 

Mercy breathes once, twice, and then Ma opens the door.

"Where is your brother?"

"He left." Years ago, Mercy would have been terrified that lying would send her straight to Hell. Now, with a sentient mass of black smoke that is also her brother nestled in her chest, Mercy feels like there are more important things. "He wanted to put up some posters. Said he would be back soon."

Ma stares at her. Mercy can almost see the gears running in her mind before she nods.

"I want you downstairs in five minutes to help with the dinner," she says before closing the door. Maybe a bit harder than necessary. Who even cares anymore. 

She almost misses the warm spot inside her chest, where the smoke has been before coming out through her mouth and nose. It hurts, but Mercy feels that it is trying to be careful. She also feels that it could free itself the _hard_ way and rip her ribcage open in the process, so she doesn't complain about a sore nose.

It isn't calm anymore, not after Ma's visit. It twirls around the room like ink in the water and the energy it gives off in its rage and anxiety is strong enough to give Mercy the chills. She smiles. Black cloud or not, she knows her brother. 

He is shy, and quiet, and anxious and scared but he is also angry. Both are. They can't free themselves from Ma, not yet, but...

"Shaw?" Mercy ventures. The black smoke convulses and its roar is low but it reverberates in Mercy's bones. She smiles. "Well. What are you waiting for?"

They are lucky that the window was open, because the black mass launches itself at it with no regards for any crystals or walls that might stand between it and the open sky. Mercy looks out the window (there are huge scratches on the wall next to it) and offhandedly wonders what the black smoke or Credence or  _both_ might do. She doesn't feel particularly guilty about any of the possibilities. 

 

 -x-

 

Shaw News publishes a special edition about senator Shaw's strange death. That same night, Mercy sneaks into Credence's bedroom and into his bed. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbles. Her voice is muffled by his chest.

"What for?"

"I made you do it. I... I was mad." Mercy tries to explain herself. "I was mad about people like them having so much that they feel entitled to spit in our face, mad about not having a way out of this..."

"We do have a way out."

"Maybe  _you_ have a way out, Credence, you are the one with magic inside. I'm a squib. At best."

"I wouldn't leave you behind." 

Suddenly, it all falls into place so fast that Mercy's mind almost snaps. She tries to look at her brother although in the dark of the bedroom, she can barely see the silhouette of his face.

"Credence?"

She feels him squirm to look away. He knows. He knows that she knows that the reason why he doesn't want to tell Mr. Graves about his magic is that Mercy and Modesty wouldn't be allowed to follow him into the wizarding world. 

Mercy almost wants to start an argument then and there, but she doesn't. She's tired and Credence can be stubborn enough that the only way he will actually stand in his rightful place in the wizarding world is if Mercy lies. A lot. So she doesn't say anything and he hugs her harder. They need to be careful, though. Ma wouldn't be happy if they fell asleep together.

"You didn't make me do anything," Credence says after a while. Mercy stays still, listening to his heart. "I can't really control it, but I can direct it. And that's what I did."

A heartbeat.

"Do you regret it?"

Another heartbeat.

"... Not much."

Then, Mercy doesn't regret it in the slightest.

 

 -x-

 

In retrospective, it had been too good of a night. No nightmares, not even dreams, and Mercy wakes up surrounded by her brother's arms. He's awake as well, absently petting her hair, and Mercy cuddles closer to him. She also notes the tiniest tendril of black smoke spiralling in the air, in front of the window, apparently enjoying the sunlight. It's quite cute.

But then come the steps, Credence's door being opened so hard that it hits the wall and both straighten up on the bed when Ma storms inside the bedroom. Mercy shudders after realizing that she has never seen Ma so angry before, and that Credence's belt is in her hand.

Ma doesn't listen. She yells, instead, about obscene things that brothers and sisters shouldn't be doing together. And while they aren't related by blood, while they have done nothing wrong, Ma makes it sound so dirty and ugly and sinful that Mercy feels physically sick. Credence's muffled screams, downstairs, don't help at all.

Mercy throws herself at the closed door three times, four, five, until her shoulder cracks and she falls to the floor feeling so damn useless. She wipes her tears (she hasn't even noticed that she's crying, and that alone says a lot) and stands up. Her shoulder doesn't really hurt or maybe she can't feel it. It doesn't matter.

Mercy can't quite move her arm, though, and Credence's Bible is old and big and _heavy_ so it takes some manoeuvring to grab it from the night table. She breathes in and out as she puts her left hand on the night table and holds the Bible over it. She lets it fall on her hand in synchrony with a new _crack_ of the belt and Credence's scream. This time the pain hits her like a wall and her hand is shaking when she puts it again on the night table. She lets the Bible fall on it every single time Credence screams. Mercy doesn't scream. She bites her tongue and tastes her own blood instead.

 

-x-

 

 Mr. Graves is horrified when he sees her hand two days later.

"Deliverance fucking Dane," he mumbles, immediately grabbing Mercy's hand and covering it with his own. He does some kind of magic and numbs the throbbing pain that has been her companion for the last days, looking at her in the eyes afterwards. He's worried. It doesn't get better when Mercy tells him about her shoulder, although it painlessly snaps back into place after he makes some gesture.

"You need to leave,  _soon_."

"Mr. Graves..."

"You can't keep on..."

"I did this."

That actually shuts him up, although he doesn't look any happier. He looks kind of sad, if anything, but his magic doesn't stop running through her hand like tiny bolts of lightning.  Mercy vaguely wonders how many wizards are able to do magic without a wand. Not that many, probably.

"I... I don't know how you stand it," he admits after a while. Mercy doesn't know how to answer. "How are his hands?"

"Scarred. Better." Mercy is about to say that her hand doesn't hurt anymore when a loud meow makes her smile. "Hey," she mumbles, reaching out to pet Circe, who has appeared basically from nowhere. The cat allows it but she looks with distrust at Mr. Graves. Mercy raises an eyebrow, surprised when Circe hisses at him. "What happens, what's wrong?

Circe's way to answer is trying to jump and scratch Mr. Graves' face. He moves his free hand and an invisible force moves the cat away in the middle of her jump, making her land neatly on the ground some feet away. Circe hisses again before she crosses the corner and disappears. 

"What the hell...? I'm really sorry, Mr. Graves, I don't know what's wrong with her..."

"Don't worry about it, animals sometimes make no sense." he shrugs. "How does your hand feel?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good."

He doesn't let go, though, and Mercy closes her eyes for a bit because the remainings of his magic feel nice and warm on her skin. She frowns, though, when she feels his lips on her hand. It barely lasts one second and it's gone the second she opens her eyes, but...

Something moving in the corner of her eye distracts her. Credence is there, far behind Mr. Graves, just where the alley starts. His expression gives nothing away and yet Mercy reads it as easily as her Bible. 

Whether they like it or not, due to Ma or their magic or their lack of it or whatever other reason, they are freaks. In every way. That Credence is  _interested_ in his own gender shouldn't come as a surprise to Mercy, who has herself been _interested_ in her own gender. The question here is, how hasn't she seen it before? Because there's no way to mistake Credence's expression as he walks backwards and leaves the alley. Right there in his face there's some ugly feeling that runs along the lines of jealousy, one that has probably shown up in Mercy's face as well, at some point. After all, Credence has had his own share of secret meetings with Mr. Graves in the alley.

Mercy hates that feeling. She and her brother have and will always share anything and everything, and had it been any other person... Mercy has to look away from Mr. Graves when she internally admits that, had it been any other person but her brother, she would have been open to the idea of sharing this as well. 

However, looking into Mr. Grave's eyes and with her hand still in his, Mercy knows  _for sure_ that there are some things she can't share with Credence.

 

-x-

 

That night, a subway station explodes. It is attributed to a gas leak. Afterwards, Mercy and Credence eat breakfast in silence and unable to look at each other.

 

-x-

 

To say that Mercy doesn't expect the slap she receives as soon as she enters the church would be a lie. What she isn't expecting, however, is the reason behind it being anything other than being late.

"Could you,  _please_ , explain to me why that seller came here an hour ago, asking for you?"

Ma sounds calm and reasonable, and suddenly Mercy is scared.

"That young man that sells newspapers," Ma insists. "William, right? He was a bit angry at you. He told me that he has seen you around, with an older man."

Mercy barely has time to brace herself before the first slap. Her face is numb enough that she almost doesn't feel the second one, although Ma viciously pulling at her hair makes her cry out.

"What have you done?" she screams in her face. Mercy smiles after hearing the question, even though Ma pulls harder and harder at her hair until tears begin to appear in her eyes. " _What have you done!?_ "

What happens next is thanks to a sudden burst of bravery. Or maybe idiocy. Probably both.

"You are too late for that question, Ma."  Mercy smiles when her mother's mouth falls open. "Years too late, actually."

Ma looks stunned as she thinks of her daughter with some unknown man although Mercy is still smiling, remembering the old Catholic church and Carmen and her lips. Next thing she knows, she's being pushed head first against the table. The blow is strong enough that Mercy can't see straight for a few seconds, and then she can't see at all because her eyebrow is bleeding and the blood gets into her eyes. She tunes out Ma's screams as she tries to stand up, grabbing onto the table and turning around to face her.

It all happens too fast. Ma is reaching out to grab her arm, next thing Mercy knows is that Credence screams and a black, roaring mass comes out from the shadows of the church and swallows them both. Ma yells and it sounds like she's being skinned alive, Mercy could cry of relief because it feels like Credence embracing her. Together they surround Ma and her screams aren't audible over their inhuman growl, over their combined litany of  _pain cold anger hate fear blood shemadeyoubleed neveragain enditendit now doit_. 

After all those years, it feels ridiculously easy to make her float -just for a second- before she falls and breaks her neck when she hits the floor. They roar and _expand-shrink-expand_ in quick succession. There's too much energy and too little will to control it, the church feels too small to imprison them and yet it has managed to do that for more than twenty years. They expand a bit harder and the building shakes. If they did it once again...

Too much energy and too little will, but Modesty's cries are all it takes for them to shrink back into human form. Mercy gasps and tries to breathe, because the feeling of actually needing to fill her lungs with air feels foreign after being part of the black smoke. Credence is faster to recover and to go near Modesty... Mercy can almost feel his pain when Modesty cries and hides from him behind Chastity. The older girl is terribly pale and doesn't look at Ma's body, broken on the floor. None of them does.

Mercy can't actually feel anything when Modesty and Chastity leave, running, scared of them. Or maybe she can, maybe she's feeling so much that she isn't able to cope with it and that's why she collapses on the floor, unable to help her sister, useless. She wants to go after Modesty but now the little girl is  _terrified_ and it will be Mercy instead of Ma what will make her cry and have nightmares, and after all the time Mercy spent trying to protect her from the fear, she can't stand the thought of being her little sister's Ma. 

She cries. For her fucking, useless life, for her fucking cats, for the little boy Credence once was, for whatever life they could have had but never had the chance to live because it was snapped right out of her hand as soon as Mary Lou Barebone decided she was going to be their Ma. Mercy cries until she feels sick and about to choke on it. Credence hugs her and shakes at the same time and Mercy wishes the church would collapse on them and end it all.

For once, Mr. Graves' steps aren't enough to make them pay attention to him. Mercy doesn't even ask why he's here. She can feel her necklace, her little horned serpent alive and anxiously sliding around her neck. It warns him, somehow. It doesn't matter.

The wizard doesn't come closer and he stands in front of Ma's body instead, looking at it with mild interest.

"Which one of you has done this?" he asks after a few seconds.

"I did."

Mercy and Credence look at each other when they speak at the same time. It isn't a lie, not really, because it was them both. A single mass of darkness, a single mind. They can't find a way to put that into words for Mr. Graves, however. At least not before the shadows and a scowl distort his handsome face.

"I have been patient with both of you," he says. A wave of his hand suddenly pulls Credence away from Mercy and before she can protest, she finds a wand pointing at her. It is the first time she sees Mr. Graves using a wand. "But I'm really running out of time.  _Crucio!_ "

Mercy collapses and falls to the floor screaming, desperately grabbing her head. It hurts so  _so_ much, her bones are burning from the inside out and breaking into pieces at the same time and she wants to end it and faint and die.

" _STOP IT!_ "

It's too much. She screams and screams and her nails sink in her skin and while something tells her there has to be an end to it, she doesn't feel it. Just the pain.

" _I trusted you, I thought you were my friend! That you were different!_ "

Her brain is boiling. Mercy hits her head against the floor hoping it will make it stop.

" _Credence... I owe you an apology. Can you control it?_ "

" _DO YOU THINK I WANT TO CONTROL IT?_ "

A familiar, inhuman growl almost drowns her shrieks. Almost. The pain makes it impossible to pay attention to the mayhem and chaos that ensue, though. Her insides are boiling and it has to end at some point, except that it doesn't and it seems to go on for ages. Mercy can feel herself reaching some kind of turning point, one she feels she won't be able to come back from. The blood in her throat chokes her and stops the screaming and she struggles to breathe...

 

_Many made it to the noose, but many more perished in there._

_No sunlight, no water, no food._

_Surrounded by their own filth, most witches went mad and cut their own throats._

_Mercy Lewis didn't._

_Most people think it's fast, to die by hanging, but it's not._

 

And then something breaks inside her, and it all stops, and it all burns.

 

-x-

 

"Madam President, we have received the notice of a violent fire in a church in Pike Street, Manhattan. It's from magical origin..."

 "Abernathy, we have an obscurial on the loose and about to break the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. Do you really think I care about some fire!?"

 

-x-

 

 _Not_ feeling pain feels foreign. After God knows how much time screaming on the floor of the church, after more than twenty years under Ma's  _care_. But now it burns, the church burns and her own memories seem to burn and there's only one thing in her mind. 

Credence. Mercy wipes the blood off her mouth and walks. 

The world feels sharper. Lighter, somehow. Mercy walks through the city, following the destruction everywhere. She still has her shoes on but in her mind, she's barefoot and walking on wet grass and her hands are tied. She tries to remember something else but there's a snap and more pain and please  _no_ she can't take it any longer... Blinded by half-forgotten memories, Mercy grabs onto the first thing her hands touch and yelps when it bursts in an explosion of white light. She notes, surprised, that the pile of rubber in front of her are the remainings of a car and that her hands are glowing white. Her whole body seems to be glowing, actually, and before Mercy can even begin to wonder  _what's going on_ a loud, inhuman growl of pain makes her look up to the sky.

 "BROTHER!"

It's Credence, it's the black smoke and it's being chased by white and blue spells that it barely dodges. It seems to hear her, though, because it immediately dives into the street. The black mass sweeps her off her feet and several feet into the air, roaring before engulfing her into its nothing.

And then there's Credence, his love, his worry and his anger, their anger because they are one once again, together. And they are tired and hurt and angry, and it all ends that night.

This time, the dark mass has a light white glow as they roam free through New York's sky. The spells thrown at them are either too weak or don't land at all so they ignore them, even further as they hear the man on the roof calling Credence's name.

Part of them thinks  _pretty brit_ but the other one thinks  _wizard_ , and after the latest events that word has gone from meaning everything they admire to deceit and treason and lies, and the next word they think of is  _pain_. The wizard barely has time to vanish before they dive towards him. 

This time the spells do land on them and it _hurts_  and after so many years of pain, they will have no more of it. They growl, charging at the building the wizards stand on and tearing it to shreds in a heartbeat. They rise and dive again in a frenetic race with no visible end, spells hitting them from all angles as they crash to the ground along an empty street, throwing cars in the air and destroying everything in their path.

After the spells, the bullets feel like a novelty. They don't harm them, and the line of policemen with their sorry guns are ridiculously tiny in front of them. The policemen disband so they rise up in the air before slamming into the ground, screeching as they shrink small enough to descend into the subway.

They hold hands and walk in silence into the train tracks, almost back into their human bodies but not completely. They are more smoke than human, Mercy glows white and Credence glows black and there's a twirling, spiralling mass of black smoke where their joined hands should have been. It feels easier that way, it feels easier to feel nothing but Credence's hand in hers. When the pretty brit's voice reaches them, they easily melt back into a shapeless form that slides up the ceiling. 

He approaches them slowly, carefully, almost as if he was trying to come near a vicious beast. He kinda is, after all.

"Credence?" he asks, and they swirl above the train tracks, waiting for him to attack. "It's Credence, isn't it? I'm here to help you, Credence. I'm not here to hurt you." 

Mr. Graves, they think with an ugly sting, had said the same. 

The brit comes out from behind a pillar and steps onto the train tracks. He talks to them about some young girl like them, like Credence, and they relax almost against their will. Credence slowly comes back to his body, forcing Mercy to do the same. Sweet, sweet Credence, ready to accept love and affection as soon as he gets it, is quick to look at the brit with different eyes. Mercy crouches on the floor in front of him with her fists glowing white and a throbbing feeling that, should arise the need, she would be able to get rid of the brit.

If the way he looks at her means anything (a mix of fear and wonder disbelief), she definitely could.

It has become somewhat obvious that Credence's magic isn't  _normal_ , because otherwise the wizards chasing them would have used it. And it seems that Credence isn't the only one. Or maybe he is, because the girl is dead, and Mercy freezes at the idea of her brother dying and a chandelier bursts in a white explosion. The brit looks at her the same way one would look at a naughty puppy and crouches on the floor.

"Can I come over to you?" he asks, incredibly softly. "Can I come over?" 

He slowly starts moving forward, but a light -a spell- bursts from nowhere in the darkness and throws him backwards. Mercy freezes on the spot when she sees Mr. Graves firing more spells at the brit, who hides behind a pillar and tries to fire back only to get his spells deflected.

The four of them look at the tunnel when the lights of the train startle them. The brit vanishes and Mercy finds herself and Credence being suddenly thrown away from its path while Mr. Graves and the brit keep on fighting. Mercy vividly remembers what it feels like to have Mr. Graves pointing his wand at you, and the white explosion that destroys part of the train tracks comes as no surprise. Mr. Graves sloppily throws a hex in her direction and Mercy feels suddenly confused to the point of dissociation. She tries to stand up but fails, and she can just watch Mr. Graves torture the poor brit with lightning and electricity over and over again until he looks like he's a hex away from dying. 

Two things happen almost at the same time. The black, twisting mass blasts down the tunnel towards Mr. Graves. He looks mesmerized as he falls to his knees, even if the wariness is obvious in his eyes when he looks at Mercy.

"Mercy..." he mumbles, and she doesn't know if it's her name or a plea for mercy or both, but she doesn't care one bit. Mercy gathers all her pain and frustration and anger and lets it go.

The white explosions everywhere and Credence blasting around the tunnel almost disintegrate the place. Pillars are coming unmade while the walls crack, and the train tracks no longer exist. The black mass suddenly accelerates and flies out through the roof, plunging back down into the subway a few seconds later and expanding, trashing everything it finds in its path. Mercy stands in the middle out it untouched and unharmed, glowing in the middle of the darkness like a lighthouse. The watches both Mr. Graves and the brit lie on the floor, cowering beneath Credence...

"CREDENCE, NO!"

Tina running towards them actually surprises Mercy, although the witch seems to be the more surprised of the two when she looks at Mercy.

"Mercy Lewis..." she mutters. Mercy hears Mr. Graves almost snicker.

"And to think that this fool was right..."

"Keep talking, Tina," the brit urges her. "Keep talking to him -he'll listen to you. He's listening." 

Mercy stays still. The only person she knows she can trust for sure is currently in his inhuman form, inches from Mr. Graves’s face. Slowly, very slowly, he rises back up, swirling more gently and staring at Tina.

"I know what that woman did to you... I know that you’ve suffered..."

"But you didn't stop it."

Mercy feels tired and tiny and broken when she speaks. Her voice sounds broken, almost as broken as Tina's eyes.

"You don't understand it, _we couldn't_... Mercy, dear, you need to stop this now... Newt and I will protect you." So that's the brit's name. "This man, he is using you..."

"Don't listen to her," Mr. Graves barks as he stands up. "I want you to be free,  _both of you_. It's all right..." 

Even though Mercy almost shakes when she hears his voice, Credence seems to be shrinking down and back into his human form. He almost looks hopeful, and Mercy wants to take that hope and hold it close to her and protect it from the whole damn world. 

She might have the opportunity to do that soon, though, because suddenly a lot of wizards start to come into the tunnel with their wands raised at them. Tina's plea does nothing to calm Mercy down and a whole wall comes down in a white explosion. The hex that comes after that hits Mercy on the chest and leaves her breathless and gasping on the floor.

Credence lets out a terrible growl and begins to grow again. The whole place is crumbling under his energy and Tina, Mr. Graves and Newt stand up in front of him, arms up and trying to protect him. Mr. Graces spins to face the wizards with a murderous expression on his face.

"Wands down!" he shouts. "Anyone harms him-they’ll answer to me!"

Mercy feels it coming but she isn't fast enough to throw herself in front of her brother before it happens. The wizards start firing dozens of spells at Credence at the same time, from every single angle and Credence howls. His contorted face appears from within the black mass and Mercy would give anything, would be gladly tortured again if it would rid her brother of that inhuman pain.

"Stop it!" she cries. "STOP IT!" 

White explosions that make the floor shake start throwing wizards left and right against the walls, against the ceiling, but it isn't enough. The remaining ones are ruthless and brutal in their attack and with a last scream of pain, Credence implodes in a black ball of energy that sends everybody stumbling backwards. Mercy hits her head against the floor so hard that everything starts spinning.

Everything subsides. Feeling numb, Mercy rolls over and stares at the cracked ceiling, at the small tatters of black matter that float through the air like feathers. Somewhere, Tina is crying, Mr. Graves talking and Mercy just doesn't care anymore. Nothing matters anymore. He's gone. Her little brother is gone. Mercy manages to sit up and, slowly, takes off her destroyed shoes. The cold floor and debris feel good against her feet. Nobody is paying attention to her until she stands up and staggers, the floor shaking a bit more each time she steps forward. The glow inside her gets so white and light that slowly, everybody stops talking.

Mr. Graves is trying to leave when he notices her gaze. Both the magic wall summoned behind him and Mercy's glow illuminate his face. He's ridiculously handsome. Mercy now realises that after growing up surrounded by ugliness, she never stood a chance against his charm. Neither did Credence.

"You said you were going to help us," she says. She barely notices the tears all over her face. "You lied to us."

Mercy lets it all explode long before the other wizards can even react. The energy comes out from her in waves of white light that send Mr. Graves stumbling backwards and make the other wizards scream in alarm as they try to rise some kind of magical shield against her. It's pointless. It's pointless because Mercy doesn't want to control, can't control all her anger and sadness and there's no way in Hell they would be able to control decades of pain. She wants them to feel all they felt during so many years, and then she wants to make the subway collapse on their heads and end it all.

Letting all out feels like breaking open, it's liberating. The screams sound far away from her light is so strong that it nearly blinds her, but something manages to catch her attention and it's so unexpected that it almost makes her stop. Almost. Strange as it seems, it looks like another body is ripping Mr. Graves' open and crawling out. Mr. Graves' face distorts in pain and Mercy's mouth falls open when she sees the blonde man suddenly lying on the floor next to him. 

The blonde man turns around to look at her. He's smiling and fear overflows Mercy after looking into his eyes. Everything snaps into place in a heartbeat. The weird glances, intimate touches that felt out of character for him, Circe's hissing at Mr. Graves when that cat _loves_ him... It wasn't him. It was never him.

And Mr. Graves is in pain. 

The white energy vanishes and the floor stops shaking. A wave of utter exhaustion hits Mercy so hard that she nearly collapses on the floor, but she manages to kneel next to him instead. He looks... He looks like those men who came back from the war when Mercy was younger. Pale, shattered, a blank look on his face, although it focuses on Mercy for a second. He apparently tries to say her name but can't, and makes a grimace of pain instead. Mercy starts crying again.

Something is going on behind them and Mercy turns around enough to see the blonde man throwing hexes left and right, the other wizards pretty much unable to stop him down... Newt throws something that wraps itself around the man and brings him down to his knees. Mercy would disintegrate him then and there but she can't, because Mr. Graves' head is on her knees and he is so weak that his hand falls when he tries to touch her face. She takes it and holds it against her cheek until he faints. 

Then there are at least five different people screaming  _Desmaius!_ and everything fades. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a few things:  
> -First of all, Mercy's faceclaim would be Segovia Amil. I think I haven't said it before, so there's that.
> 
> -Percival had been investigating the Barebone siblings before he went to Europe and he had been pretty sure that Mercy... Well. Credence might be a squib or might be something else, but Mercy was definitely something else that we have yet to see.
> 
> -Due to Percival's investigation, this time Grindelwald wasn't blindly trying to find some kid. He knew that the obscurial was either Credence or Mercy, and his strategy to finding out was mainly mess with them until somebody revealed their magic. As we have seen, this didn't quite work out. Grindelwald ran out of patience and cruccio-ed his way through it. Easy-peasy.
> 
> -In canon, Credence was weaker and more scared. Here he has had a sister all along, one that isn't a child and that has endured the same things he has. Mercy and Credence were unable to leave the church even after the abuse, that's true, but they kept supporting each other and fueling each other's anger and frustration. The support made them both harder, more willing to do whatever they need to do to reach their goals, be that defend themselves from Mary Lou or protect Percival and the pretty brit. The Credence in my fic is closer to the Crimes of Grindelwald's Credence than the FBAWTFT's Credence.
> 
> -I still can't believe that we were given a character such as Percival Graves just to see him snatched from us with no further plot about him, not even about his death. So here I came up with some kind of spell that basically allowed Grindelwald to use Percival's body as a costume. Poor Percy was there all along, watching, until Mercy's magic literally ripped Grindelwald off his body. Pushed him out. Whatever.
> 
> -I already have the plot for the next chapter, so I only need to write it (it will take a while. I'm busy with school and I have no idea of how long it will be). I can tell you, though, that it will be set during the days right after the events in the first movie.


End file.
